Richie’s Rants!

Life is full of ups and downs. When I look back, I’m pretty surprised to see that coming 21st this month, I’ll be in Perth for 6 months. Even the time that I have in Sydney doesn’t seem to pass that quickly. I suppose its good in a way. Negative aspect? I’m still here! That means I’m flying too slowly. I suppose that I AM flying too slowly, since I have to wait for almost 3 weeks for my proficiency check.

What happened in January? Hmm… Bought myself 2 new sets of lenses. One for my glasses & one for my sunglasses. How much does it cost in Australia? AUD$720, inclusive of consultation fees for the optometrist. In Singapore, checking the power of your lenses are free, but not here! AUD$720=SGD$857! I can’t friggin’ believe it. I can buy 2 pairs of titanium framed glasses or 1 titanium framed glasses + 1 pair of Ray Bans. Heck… Unfortunately, I don’t have much of a choice given that my old pair keeps giving me headaches after my flight. Supposed to receive my glasses today 1st, but no… They told me that the angle fitting to the lenses is not correct & its slightly tilted… What did they do? They’re gonna send it over to Sydney again to get it rectified! Need another week! I don’t pay $850  for this crap! Sigh… Then how? Just grumble online lor… What to do…

Anyway, I’m disappointed with my flying! Didn’t get to fly much last month! Ah crap… This year isn’t for me. 60 flights in 23 weeks. Averaging at 2.6 flights per week. Working out the maths… That’ll put me at 24 more weeks! That’ll translate into ETA to SG at 3rd week of July. I don’t believe this… I know my calculations are pretty abstract but it gives a fair estimate if I’m keeping up with my performance which is NOT good at all. Onwards to my flights!

Happy New Year! Its the statement heard most often 24 hours ago. The pessimism in me strike again! What’s so happy about the new year? What does the increase of one number on the calender signify? Nothing. It signifies nothing at all. Its the only indication that time have passed so why have so much effort being put to make the New Year celebration a successful one? Maybe its an effort to appease a grumpy old man like yours truly, but in my opinion, its just another day passing. Maybe its the anticipation of a day’s off from your boring monotonous work that people are looking forward to a New Year PLUS your annual bonuses as well. Regardless (I’ve been told that the word ‘irregardless’ is not a word at all) of the holidays, it really isn’t that much of a reason to celebrate.

Guess I must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed today. Was supposed to go flying but I woke up feeling terribly drained & exhausted. Not only that, the cloud base was low & my waking up is an absolute vain! What an absolute crock of bull!

20 weeks in Perth and 56 flights later… That will average out about 3 flights a week. That means that at this rate I’m going, I’ll be going home on the 1st week of Jun. This is NOT good at all. Guess I better buck up. I almost forgotten how slow I might have become if I didn’t do this monthly review thing. Thank goodness I did. That means I can’t AFFORD to do 3 flights a week. I would reckon at least one flight per 2 days is right up my alley. Sigh. Curse the duties that get piled up. Absolutely F-ing HATE it. It detracts me from my flying.

Grumpy start to a New Year. Great… Lets see how it works out. I’m looking forward to going back to a place called Singapore. Only then will my mood perk up, I figure… On to life then.

Time for me to write again! What’s going on in November? Not much, except for the fact that my much beloved girl spent the last week of November with me. Its absolutely fantastic! Everywhere we go, people think we’re on a honeymoon. I’m feeling as if I’m on the top of the world.

This one week, we were busy snapping pictures everyday. Why? My girl wanted to have 1,000 pictures by the time she got back to Singapore. Unfortunately, we only managed to get 819 items (which includes both pictures & video clips). Still, the memory of watching the pictures & vids should be sufficient to last me until I get back to Singapore.

How’s flying? Hmm, at the moment, I’m stuck at 45 & I’m in Perth at about the 15th week. Projected time of completion at this rate should take me an additional 26 weeks? That’ll roughly translate into 6 months which means I’ll be in Perth for a grand total of 10 months! That’s a bloody long time! Shucks, guess I gotta kick in the NOS & try to hasten my flying then.

Most of my available time when I’m not doing duty or flying or attending briefings is just primarily playing games. Just bought Rainbow Six: Raven Shield for AUD$10. Its a blast. No way can we find such quality games in Singapore for this price. No friggin’ way. My coursemates & me had a hell of a fun time trying to complete the co-op missions in sequence.

It’ll be so much better if the game comes with Teamspeak or a voice program. Only problem? My laptop can’t use the microphone. Why? I really wish to know why. Reckon its the audio card which reminds me. I’ll probably try to source for their office around. Hopefully its in Perth else the only way to fix the laptop is to send it back to Singapore. Over my dead body. Its my only source of entertainment which is free (excluding the cost of buying new games) & my outlet to the rest of you chaps back in Singapore, so nope! I’m not sending my laptop back!

Miss my girl again… badly… Its good though. We didn’t see each other for a few months but when we’re together, it doesn’t feel like we’ve been missing out much. I think she’s the one. Hehe. Alright, time to get to sleep soon. In 42 minutes time, the daylight savings will kick in which means I’ve one less hour of sleep. Fortunately, I’m free of all duties/flying tomorrow which means I can sleep as much as I want. I think I should go get some sleep. Getting naggy. Initially, I reckon I wouldn’t be writing much but once I started typing, things just flow out naturally… Cool! Haha… Until next month!

How many times have we hoped that time passes by quickly & there’re certain times when you hope that time will just slow down? Thats human nature, I guess. Wanting time to pass according to our own wishes.

For the past week, I’ve been pretty restless. Hoping that time will pass quickly but yet staying up til the wee hours in the morning, not wanting to sleep. How ironic. What is it that I really want? I’ve no idea. Come to think of it, by putting such thoughts down, I just realised the irony of it. Thats what it means to write a blog, isn’t it? As a sort of an online diary where one’s innermost thoughts come to the forefront? Some would tend to disagree saying that one tend to be more cautious when writing on a blog but I guess I don’t really care that much.

About the salsa, the lessons ended & it really wasn’t that great. The instructor isn’t as professional as the instructor back in SG surprisingly. In my humble opinion, he doesn’t emphasize on the importance of the basics which is not good at all given that all such dances should have a firm foundation. Another thing which I don’t like is that he disrespects other styles of salsa thinking that his is the best. Every style of art, be it dance, martial arts or just general art have its own individuality & uniqueness. Who is to say which is better? That causes me to lose respect for him & in turn, it just goes downhill from there. Guess thats me in a nutshell, always supporting the underdog. Perhaps, that’s garnered from my own experience but its always good to maintain a fair view of things. Too often, as human beings, we have biased opinions so I guess we should learn to just step back once in a while & take a good look at things.

Hehe… I’ve just passed my 1st phase of flying! There are 4 phases total, which means that 1 down, I’ve about 3 more to go! Things aren’t that hot, as my skills are a little rusty, but just a little bit of "oil" to smooth it out, so to speak. Completed about 30 flights so far. 92 more to go!

3rd October. I’ve been in Perth for about 6 weeks and 1 day now. What’re my thoughts? When I first got here, I’ve been thinking of how boring this place is & how much it resembled a prison with resort-like accomodations but as time progresses on, I’ve learnt to accept it. I’m not homesick anymore. Just miss my girl terribly.

I suppose that by looking at it in a different light, time will pass quicker & by all accounts, I suppose that when I do start flying for the airline, such free time in such huge quantity will not be possible anymore, so I’ll just take this time to relax, unwind & recharge my battery.

As of taking 122 weeks to complete my flying? Haha… Not anymore, within these past 6 weeks, I’ve been racking up the "sorties". I need about 122 sorties to complete & I’ve done about 19! Guess I’m slowly building up my momentum. I gotta thank my coursemates by providing me endless hours of music, movies, dramas & "killing" by playing CS & DotA.

DotA is still a little slow as they’re beginners but I’m not that much of an expert either so I guess as time progresses on, they’ll get better… I’m starving a little now. Hope that we’ll go for dinner soon! Tuesday is Pizza & Waffles night. I think we might just pop out for pizza & driving over to the Waffle place & kill 2 birds with one stone. Damn! That sounds so good its making me salivate. Lunch & dinner provided by the caterer isn’t really that hot, so I’ll gladly seize the opportunity to go out for lunch/dinner anytime! Emm… Food… Guess I better go grab some food! Will update in a month!

Coming to an end of my ATPLs, I realise that I’m once again free! Free to pursue what I like to do. To salsa & fly, not that I can fly or salsa really well, but its what I like to do! The salsa style here in Perth is actually slightly different from that of Singapore. How interesting. I told myself that since I’m here, might as well learn different skills! I don’t want to waste my time here & just dwell purely on games.

Within the span of these few months, I met the One. All my life, I’ve been searching for the perfect girl… Could this be? I wonder. Time is a factor & she promised to wait for me until I come back. Too good to be true? As you guys probably know, my ex-gf left me because of my occupation, but I suppose that she’s worth the time & chance of getting hurt again.

How did I meet her? Hmm… I learnt salsa with my good friend Viviana & met her in the class. Fate? I don’t normally believe in fate but everything that I do, should I make the wrong move, she won’t be with me today… So, I’m really starting to believe in fate though believing in Fate doesn’t mean that I should just slack off & let Fate do everything for me. Fate is a term when the conditions are right & things just hit off!

I got my dream job, I got my dream girl. I guess I shouldn’t be so selfish anymore. All my life, I keep thinking & reflecting on the negativities of life. Maybe, I can make the world a better place. Take Steve Irwin, for example. He’s a good man & an excellent conservationist. With his positive outlook on wanting to make the world a better place, he went ahead & made it. Its unfortunate that a tragic accident happened but I will take that lesson & try to make the world a better place! Try lah… Gimme a break, please don’t throw rotten eggs at me!

Alright… I got to fly 2 times in 15 days. How about it! On average, that will take me about 225 or 230 weeks to get my CPL/IR! Yay! Nah… Thats just some bull I pulled out of my ass. Things will go slow initially, but hopefully, I’ll pick them up as it comes along! Until then… I’ll update (or try to update) asap!

W00T!!! as most MMORPG players are wont to say. These past few months have been the most taxing part of my life! When I was young, I’ve never really studied for any exams at all & as the date of my ATPLs draw closer, I find myself studying & even then, sometimes its not enough to pass! This course is tough shit! Haha… But lets hope as we count down to 11 Jul, my foundation will be getting stronger & tougher. Life’s really hectic! I wish that I have more time to myself but I guess that this is the road in which I’ve committed myself to. Like one of my instructor’s favourite phrase: "The company didn’t invite you to this job, the flying college didn’t invite you to this job, I didn’t invite you to this job!" Good words… So whatever consequences or sheer hardship, I’ll just grit my teeth & bear it because its worth it to fight so hard for my dream job. I figure that I’m not fighting hard enough… but I will PERSEVERE & GRIND my way through this toughie!!! Hehe… Sounds like I’m just trying to convince myself…  Irregardless, I WILL make it!

Its been such a long time since I’ve last written! Busy? Maybe. Anything interesting in life happening? Well, might say yes, might say no. This long period of inactivity have opened my eyes to many things & I daresay that handling singlehood seems to be much more easier to handle. Given that since Sep 1998 til Jul 2005, I’ve never truly been single.

I’ve just started salsa with a good friend of mine, Viv! Haha… Initially she was quite sceptical about dancing until we started the salsa class. Now, after attending her 1st lesson, I think she might be hooked on it! Its really fun, especially its like enjoying the beauty of form when a good dance is performed. Talking about dancing, the movie ‘Take the Lead’ starring Antonio Banderas is excellent! Initially, I never expected much from the show but true to Hollywood style, the show did things which livens up the show. Pretty interesting!

Hmm… Thats it! I got nothing else to write! Is that really true? Hmm… Hell, yah… I lead a darn boring life followed by nothing but pure studies… & guess what? I’ve decided to dedicate myself to flying & dancing until I found the right girl! I’m one of those people who feel extremely satisfied when I’ve finished a good dance (not that I can dance anyway). I’ll be doing salsa & casino rueda! Casino rueda? What’s that? Its the salsa dance where there’ll be rotation of partners in a circular formation. When pulled off well, it’ll be very smooth & slick looking & slick looking, Antonio Banderas will probably knock the socks off some girls, especially when he dances. Haha… Alright, time to hit the books! Later…

I’m picking up "pen" again & start doodling on this personal blog of mine. Life’s good!

I’ve learnt to accept that being a pilot is a lonely life. Its both good & bad in one sense. I’ve talked to my ex-girlfriend’s husband who said that pilots are a glamourous lot but in his impression, a glamourous lifestyle is one destined for loneliness. True? I’ve really no idea, but I’ve chosen not to dwell on it, for it brings nothing but questions. Questions in which none of us can answer, for within each & every individual, we have our own priorities & capabilities.

Anyway, for the past few months, I was so busy with training! Things to do & so many exams to take… Speaking of which, I should be flying solo again, even though I’ve flown umpteen solos, my coursemates are so keen on giving me "the First Solo" treatment which from what I understand includes eggs, washing powder, flour & water. No prizes for those who guessed correctly what will be involved… C’mon guys… Gimme a break!

Lastly, zxcv, thanks for your comments. I’m not a great pilot. A great pilot can only be measured in terms of war? Haha… I’m far from being a fighter pilot but hey, like I said, its my dream to fly & I’m doing it right now so I can’t complain at all   :)   Regarding the girl, I’ve stopped messaging her although once in a while, I messaged her to let her know I’m still around & nothing have changed & that, the friendship still remains even though she might choose to ignore it.

After so many months of inactivity in this blog, I’ve finally taken up the courage to write on this blog again.

My work’s fine although the training is getting intense, but such is expected from the likes of a high-stress job like being a pilot so I can’t & won’t complain much.

In regards to the other stress part, Love. Ever had the feeling that you’ve the love of someone only to have it taken away from you again? Its extremely frustrating but sometimes, one can’t blame oneself. Initially, I thought that there is something wrong with me, only when she told me that she can’t forget her ex-bf that I realise that there’s nothing wrong with me. Although I’ve been dating her for a month, the time spent is extremely happy & pleasant for me. Does she feel this way? Her ex have been treating her like crap but still, she think of him. Is it me? No, I’ve fully learnt that & learnt to let go that its not my fault but she can’t conquer her own internal demons. This is a battle she MUST fight alone. Can I help her to overcome this? I suppose I can if she wanted help, but she’s putting me off at arm’s length or maybe even further.

All I ever ask for is a chance to make things right & its not hard to find someone to love but the greatest feelings one can ever have is that you love the person & she loves you back in kind. Its easy to say ‘I love you’ but actually feeling the love is not easy cause alot of people just go through that ritual without actually meaning it.

A friend of mine told me that for me, to relate the story in which I can fully let go taught & reminded him of a good lesson. I’m glad that he learnt when to fully let go, that sometimes, regardless of how much effort you put in, it just doesn’t work out. This is the indisputable fact of life & everyone must embrace it. Even though, I HATE it. I really really HATE it, but there’s nothing I can do about it, so I MUST learn to live with it & live with it I should.

She told me that she hated me so much that she’ll delete every message that I sent, but I won’t give up. I’ll send her a message everyday to let her know that I’m still around & if she needed any support, I’ll be there. Silly? No, its because she’s worth it & I just want her to be happy.